I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
