If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
