is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
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