fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
