Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
