i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Welp...herpes.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
