I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
