Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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