Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
