i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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