so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
