eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
