the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
