apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
