Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
