i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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