you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
