I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
