I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I don't deserve a penis
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
