He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
