Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
