i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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