I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
