sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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