My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Randomize