haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
