Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
