There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
