i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
