Screwed.edu
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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