I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Randomize
