Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
