he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
