I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
