she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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