I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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