Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
