you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
