please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
