What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
