I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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