My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
