he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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