spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
