Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
