At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
