i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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