they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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