That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
birth control should be required to get into college
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
