Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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