I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
